Letting go...

Okay, this week has been a bit rough emotionally and it's bound to get worse in a couple of weeks. The thought of our youngest, our baby boy, going off to Preschool is hard to accept at times. I can still see myself standing in front of a mirror, just holding his tiny body, cherishing that sight because I knew it was the last time he would be that size. I should be glad that he has grown up to be a happy, healthy, fun-loving young man, but doggone it - when did that all happen???!!! He is so loving and caring and absolutely will not let me leave for work in the mornings until he has had his hug and kiss, and the ones I get in return are the sweetest ever. I know he will absolutely thrive in school and I don't want to keep him from reaching his potential and even exceeding it. He is such a smart boy, so curious to discover how things work if it has moving parts. He is also so in tune to when things are not going right. For example, at daycare, there are a couple of boys near his age who keep calling him names and picking on him. He lets it roll off his back, but he tells me later that it hurts his feelings. He's not a confrontational person, but he does tell these boys that what they say is not true. We have notified the staff at the daycare, and they are keeping a closer eye out for these boys' behaviors. What gets me is that these boys do it as soon as he walks in the door. My husband has had enough of it and called the boys out right there on the spot. The boys are smaller (but older) than our son, so I wonder why they think they can bully him? Maybe because they know he won't fight back physically? Who knows...

On the opposite side of the spectrum, our oldest is going in to 3rd grade and we're trying to keep her head level as far as growing up too fast. She's a 1-2 years younger than her classmates, but it's natural for her to want to do everything that they do. She is mature for her age, so I'll give her that. But it has occured to me that in 10 years she'll graduate from high school and could go off to college... who is ever prepared for that?? She is so smart, but peer pressure gets to her and she doesn't want to try to work harder. She's always on the honor roll and does GT classes as well as advanced math, but she doesn't like to feel singled out (she was one of 4 in her class last year, so she's not alone!) for fear of embarrassment and not fitting in. She is one I will have to watch like a hawk that she doesn't try to grow up too fast. I make a point ot give her hugs and kisses every day and tell her that I love her for who she is and I also express my appreciation for the hard work she does everyday in taking care of her brother and sister in the mornings. She makes sure they get their breakfast and have a movie they can all agree to watch, or other times she gets out art supplies and draws the most beautiful pictures for us. She's been able to get the other two to not fight and to play quietly in the mornings until Daddy can get up and fix them something good to eat. She is amazing!

Now our middle child, she was an enigma to me last school year. She has really blossomed this summer and I hope she continues to bloom this year. She would really like to be in the same class as her best friend since she is they type to only have 1 or 2 good friends, but there are no guarantees. It's good for her to meet other people and get to know them. She, too, makes straight A's and I'm sure will be invited to join GT classes. I am so glad they give 2nd graders the opportunity. She is getting so tall, too. Though she, too, is 1-2 years younger than her classmates, she's taller than many of them. I can see her growing to 5'10" in the longrun. I make sure to give her lots of hugs and kisses, too, because she is a cuddly girl.

I want to always know what it feels like to hold our children close and what their hair smells and feels like. Their skin is so soft, too. Their laughter is contagious! I suppose all the reports in the news about missing, abducted, or murdered children has me thinking that life is short and we need to make the most out of every moment we have with each other.